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Lincoln’s Nose: Power Vacuum?

The Journal-Times of Racine, Wisconsin, reports that the city’s statue of Abe and Mary Todd Lincoln has had one of its noses snapped off, “for at least the fourth time.” This honker-hacking is treated as an instance of senseless vandalism — much as the recent dino decapitation in Durham, North Carolina.

Abe's Nose, Keystone, SDBut experience has taught us that the nose of a Lincoln statue is considered exceptionally lucky. Most people are content merely to rub Lincoln’s nose — but what if someone wanted more? A powerful good luck charm? The proximity of Racine to the Potawatomi Bingo Casino and Dairyland Greyhound Park suggests a motive.

Perhaps the truth is even more sinister. The Journal-Times story notes that Abe and Mary’s noses have been repeatedly stolen over a period of several decades. Maybe the lucky mojo only lasts so long, and a new nose is needed when the old one’s wallop begins to wane? Who would need such a thing? We hate to point fingers, but the location of the mysterious nearby University of Lawsonomy seems suspicious. Why is it here — if not to mine eternal gold from the schnozzes of the Lincolns?

And speaking of finger-pointing, the repeatedly snapped-off finger of Alabama’s Emma Samson statue bears reexamination. As potent as Lincoln’s nose may be in the North, it would be dwarfed by the hoodoo radiating from the most powerful dainty digit of the South.

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