Trunkations

Road trip news, rants, and ruminations by the Editors of RoadsideAmerica.com


Twin Arrows Restored, Route 66 Fans Rejoice

We’ve watched with resignation the gradual decay of the Twin Arrows east of Flagstaff, Arizona. The two big shafts — telephone poles, actually — were left to rot when the trading post that owned them closed in 1998. It wouldn’t be long, we thought, before they collapsed in a puff of desert dust, and then were moved to our Gone But Not Forgotten section.

Twin Arrows, 2002
Twin Arrows in 2002.
But not so fast! The arrows are reborn, looking as colorful and strange as the day that they were first shoved into the ground.

The arrows were restored in a two-week cooperative blitz between the Hopi tribe and Route 66 buffs. Each group had its own motives. To the Hopi, according to an article in the Arizona Daily Sun, the arrows “symbolize warrior pride.” To the 66ers, they embody “an entrepreneurial spirit.” Let’s just say that the arrows are a Spirit Guide for Route 66 travelers, and a big “Pay attention!” from Arizona’s Indians.

According to the Sun, the Hopi plan to restore the trading post as well as the arrows, in anticipation of a big Navajo casino planned for the opposite side of I-40. We hope that the tribes put some of their future wealth to further totem rehab  — like restoring Two Guns/Canyon Diablo a dozen miles east of Twin Arrows.

Sections: Attraction News, Coming Soon
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See-Saw Cypress Gardens: Down Again

Cypress Gardens, Florida’s first theme park, has once again found itself out in the weeds.

An iconic home of water ski shows and Southern Belles in uncomfortably warm dresses, the park operated steadily for almost 70 years. Then it closed in 2003, reopened with roller coasters in 2004, was ravaged by three hurricanes and closed again, reopened with a water park and zoo in 2005, closed in 2008, reopened without the roller coasters or zoo in 2009, and now has closed for a fourth time.

Cypress Gardens skiers.Evidently, efforts to find a new winning formula have been unsuccessful.

It always seemed to us as if Cypress Gardens failed by trying to be too much. The water skis and Southern Belles weren’t enough for its new breed of MBA managers. Their latest “we’re closed” press release spoke of their attempts at “numerous management frameworks,” rather than trying to create new routines for the water ski show. They wanted to slug it out with Disney and Universal Studios, which was admirable but insane.

As an article in the Lynchburg News and Advance points out, the Cypress Gardens property is “zoned for entertainment.” There’s a chance it will rise again from this latest belly-flop (maybe a desperate state park rescue, a la Weeki Wachee?). If so, we hope they get back to the basics. Bring in a water-skiing dog. Pit the Southern Belles against some dim-witted Yankees in a Civil War battle. Work with what you do best, Cypress Gardens. The people will come.

Sections: Attraction News
1 Comment »

Pennsylvania: Pagan As You Go

When a group of sociable Pagans decided to hold their “Celebrating Earth Spirituality Festival” at the semi-charming and vaguely Tudoresque (circa 1996) theme shopping hamlet of Stoudtburg Village, little did they know that the gathering would cause a retail revolt. An offended group of shopkeepers refused to open on that day, lest they come in contact with a single Pagan penny. Area Christians organized a “Wall of Prayer” to counteract the general merriment and express dismay at the sight of pentacle-adorned nature lovers stocking up on potpourri and scarfing kettle corn.

Crazy witches.
Witch History Museum, Salem, MA. Nothing like this occurred in Stoudtburg Village.
Stoudtburg Village is located in pious and picturesque Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, famous for its scrapple and Amish communities. The mock-historic commercial center (which also includes apartments–Phase II coming soon!) regularly hosts events including Rotary Club meetings, doll shows, and the suspicious-sounding indoctrination rite known as “Cookies with Santa.” It is available for rent to any group willing to cough up a very reasonable fee of $50.

Admittedly Pagans are fond of questionable practices such as clothing-optional bread baking, but in this case, the day was spent engaging in such offensive activities as “collecting non-perishable food items to help those in need.” Shocking!

As far as we know, this is the first event to spark a Stoudtburg business boycott. But may we point out that there’s already something rather Pagan about a “European inspired” village that is home to “Peaches, our fountain nymph” and permits stores to open with corrupted names such as “Country Pastthymes.”

When the festival day finally arrived on September 12…well…it rained! A blessing from Mother Earth or the wrath of an angry God? A few church groups showed up; most interaction was respectful and polite, although there were some cases of overly-aggressive pamphleteering. Perhaps everyone learned that they have much in common after all: a deep sense of spirituality, a wish to make the world a better place, and a compulsive desire to buy lots of stuff that no one really needs. For whether you collect cheap figurines of fairies or angels, we’re all part of the consumerist heaven-on-earth called The United States of America. [Post by Anne D. Bernstein]

Sections: Attraction News, Events
3 Comments »

Step Right Up!

Stairs are so ordinary and prosaic that we rarely think of them as tourist destinations. Oh sure, we’ll stand in awe before a magnificent stained-glass window. We’ll wander for a wall mural or travel for a turret. But it’s about time that we pay tribute to an often overlooked, exceedingly everyday structure. So here’s a list of the nation’s best steps:

Loretto Chapel staircase.
Loretto Chapel staircase.
It is said that a mysterious carpenter built the spiraling staircase at the Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, New Mexico. The oft-told tale is that of discouraged nuns who were stuck with a choir loft with a puzzling lack of access (a conventional staircase would not fit). After a bout of devout prayer, a mysterious donkey-toting carpenter arrived and built a corkscrew-style staircase with “no discernible means of support”. And the biggest miracle of all is that he disappeared without even charging them! (If only there were such charitable contractors around today.) Some say he was really Saint Joseph. Of course, those entertaining party-poopers over at Snopes beg to differ.

There’s no mystery as to who designed the Fontainebleau Hotel’s famously glitzy “Staircase to Nowhere” in Miami Beach, Florida. Architect Morris Lapidus — famous for soaring and swooping flights of post-war architectural fancy and Swiss cheese-inspired exteriors — designed the now entirely useless lobby feature (originally there was a small coat check room at the summit). The divinely dated element leads nowhere, but who cares? It’s fancy shmancy. (Lapidus loved lobbies; he once installed a terrarium full of live alligators in the lobby of the Americana.) This is one staircase that could use a miracle, as the hotel owners are on the verge of bankruptcy.

(The loony labyrinth that is the Winchester Mystery House also boasts a set of stairs that go nowhere — they actually hit the ceiling!)

The seemingly endless Santa Monica Stairs in California — 170 steps at 4th Street and Adelaide Drive — often host sweaty celebrities and attract a constant coed traffic jam of ascending fitness fanatics. Famous for its pick-up scene, eye-popping eye candy, and ear-splitting early morning exercise-induced grunting, this parade of pulchritude regularly pits the interests of rich residents against those of the high-energy, low-body-fat set.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers steps.
Invasion of the Body Snatchers steps.
And of course there are the movie stairs: Laurel and Hardy’s Music Box steps in the Silverlake section of Los Angeles; the steep and dire Exorcist staircase in Georgetown, Washington, DC; the Invasion of the Body Snatchers steps (original 1956 version) in Los Angeles; and the hop-happy Rocky steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art. Reenactments at the first three are discouraged. But it’s considered safe to recreate Balboa’s classic scene of everyman determination.  What visitor can resist the urge to jog boldly heavenward and repetitively leap around upon reaching the summit, while attempting to hum the Rocky theme in a breathless, panting manner? [Post by Anne d. Bernstein]

Sections: Places
2 Comments »

Don’t Diss The Kiss

Sarasota, Florida has finally embraced the 26-foot-high, painted fiberglass sculpture “Unconditional Surrender,” which depicts a sailor enthusiastically planting a smoocherooni (as they called it in liberated villages) on the lips of a loose-limbed nurse on V-J Day in Times Square. After a combative public hearing, city commissioners decided to accept a donation of the $500,000 massive clutching couple and agreed to exhibit it for at least ten years on the bay front.

Unconditional Surrender, San Diego.
Unconditional Surrender, San Diego.
“Unconditional Surrender” engendered heated controversy, pitting patriotic liplock-loving photo-opportunists against high-minded aesthetes who were offended by its gaudy oversized zeal. Opponents also claimed that it was a traffic hazard.

(The statue exists in multiple versions, including one “temporarily installed” for years in G Street Mole Park in San Diego, which also induces occasional kitsch-induced trauma among the art critic set.)

The gigantic public art pairing—created by J. Seward Johnson, a scion of the Johnson & Johnson baby powder fortune — has also garnered criticism for  being a copyright infringement of Alfred Eisenstaedt’s photograph “V-J Day at Times Square”. In response, Johnson claims that he based the sculpture on a different photograph by Alfred Jorgensen. Take a look. Who’s he kidding?

Johnson — who we like to think of as the love child of Duane Hanson and Norman Rockwell — first came to questionable prominence with his life-sized bronzes of businessmen on benches. But in recent years he’s moved on to pay homage (i.e. “rip off”) famous works of art.

His towering “God Bless America” (Grant Wood’s “American Gothic” with suitcases) graces an office building plaza in Chicago. His Corcoran Gallery show “Beyond The Frame” featured his own sculpted versions of various Impressionist paintings. Many of them are on view these days at Grounds For Sculpture (formerly a part of The New Jersey State Fairgrounds) in Hamilton, New Jersey.

Well, at least he has a sense of humor: his installation “Copyright Violation!” consists of a 3-D statue of Claude Monet, posed painting a J. Seward Johnson sculpture that is in turn based upon a Monet Painting. It may not be tall…but that’s deep!

Sections: Attraction News, Rants
1 Comment »

Nude For Thought

We’re constantly coming across reports of public protest over nude statuary. Townships are always abuzz over art au natural. Three recent undressed uproars demonstrate that demands for modesty are often directed at the least sexy of sculptures.

Statue of David.
No Longer Controversial: David, Sioux Falls, SD.
Take “Journey To The New” in Delray Beach, Florida. This serious and spindly towering trio was created by Itzik Asher and represents a refugee Jewish family fleeing Ethiopia for sanctuary in Israel. Displayed at the Addison Park Shopping Center, it’s too close to an elementary school for some sensitive critics. Oh, and the man is “anatomically correct”—except for the fact that his privates are made out of metal.  The artist defends his vision by saying it’s about “…who you are. That’s why my figures walk naked, but they are not naked in what they carry.” Thanks for clearing that up, Smartypants!

Then there’s Mike Magrath’s nude and brooding site-specific woman, installed at Burien/Interim Art Space in Burien, Washington. Officially titled “Paradigm Shift” (note pretentious name which attempts to imply deep thought rather than hoochie coochie-ness) it is nicknamed “The Squatter” by locals. This contemplative and somewhat scrawny lass is posed in rather unflattering position, which admittedly encourages tasteless jokes by adult and child alike.

Citizen “Lynette” — whose visit to the Strawberry Festival with her grandkids was potentially ruined by the titillating thinker — makes a good point: “If that were a live person, she would be arrested for public nudity”. But she’s not, so let’s move on.

Finally, some citizens of Silt, Colorado are all worked up about a statue of a naked rock-climber, who moons passing roundabout traffic. Blaine Peters of “Rock World Unlimited” made the bare-butted adventurer—but didn’t take the time to come up with a pretentious title for his gripping creation, which is as yet unnamed.

Sexy? Arousing? Hardly. All it serves to do is to make onlookers (especially men) wince. [Post by Anne D. Bernstein]

Sections: Rants, Statues, Trends
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