Tony The Tiger: Serial Offender?

December 12, 2008

When the legendary Tiger Truck Stop moved from Texas to Louisiana a couple of years ago, and reduced its stock of live, caged tigers from three to one, its owners probably hoped that they would get some peace.

Not so. According to the Baton Rouge Advocate, Louisiana state wildlife officials have found an old law that forbids private ownership of “wild, exotic, vicious” animals for exhibition. They’ve told the owners that the truck stop’s one remaining big cat, Tony the Tiger (no, not that Tony the Tiger), will have to go.

Tony isn’t wild, and he certainly isn’t vicious, although he could get cranky if an interstate bus stops for gas and a lot of tourists pop camera flashes in his face. He definitely is exotic, however, and his owners reportedly are threatening to file suit to keep him.

It’s a shame that Wilbert Behn has retired. He’d not only take Tony, he’d have him jumping through hoops of fire!

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Dungeon Party In Utah!

December 10, 2008

Awkward news out of Park City, Utah: this year’s annual Dungeon Party can’t be held in the dungeon. It’s closed for repairs.

The good news is that the dungeon will be back, uncomfortable as ever, in the spring of 2009, once the Park City Historical Museum finishes fixing up the place.

The dungeon is what the locals call the holding pit at Park City’s old territorial jail. “One of Park City’s best loved landmarks,” according to the Park City Record, “where at least 11 people died of alcohol poisoning or exposure while in police custody.” It’s now part of the Park City Historical Museum, which is in the last months of a multi-million renovation, which is why the death pit is closed to this year’s merry-makers.

There are a number of human hell-holes open for tours across the country, some more theatrical than others. Purists who fear that Park City’s pit may be going upscale need not worry, according to the Record: “The dungeon has remained untouched expect for waterproofing and plaster reinforcement injected into its walls to shore it from collapse.”

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This Is What Happens When You Mess With Lincoln’s Log Cabin

December 9, 2008

Well, that didn’t take too long.

Nine days ago, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich did the unthinkable and shut down Lincoln’s Log Cabin — and a big Indian statue as well — claiming that the money wasn’t available to keep them open.

This morning, Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich was arrested and taken away by the FBI, his pouf of hair in distress.

Publicly, the governor is being charged with trying “to sell the U.S. Senate seat” formerly occupied by Barack Obama, according to U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald.

We condemn his actions, which were indefensible — unless, of course, he was trying to raise money to reopen the cabin and the statue.

Don’t laugh at that idea. You don’t mess with the Railsplitter, not in the Land of Lincoln, and certainly not on the eve of his 200th birthday (And don’t forget that a 48-foot-tall Indian was involved as well). Maybe the governor — too late — realized the error of his ways and was desperately trying to find a way out of a calamitous situation.

Too bad. Now that he’s gone, let’s use his salary to reopen the cabin and the Indian.

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Makeover For Minnesota’s Killer Wolf

December 8, 2008

For years a lone wolf nicknamed “Old Three Legs” worried the citizens of Detroit Lakes, Minnesota. He ate chickens, mostly, but some believed that he was a potential child-chewer, and his knack of not getting shot made him more fearsome. “Hunting parties of hundreds could not bring him down,” reads a lurid report on WDAY-TV, “his reign of terror still unmatched.”

(It’s no surprise that Old Three Legs hung around Detroit Lakes, if the nearby World’s Largest Turkey, Pelican, and Booming Prairie Chicken symbolize the local food supply.)

Old Three Legs was finally killed in 1926. He was stuffed and put on display in a local hotel, and then stuck in a barn for 50 years. The Becker County Museum got him in the 1980s and turned him into a popular exhibit. But Old Three Legs was never in good shape, even when he was alive, and decades of being dead hadn’t helped. “He was leaning,” said Carrie Johnston, the museum manager. “He had some mice chews.”

Old Three Legs was too important to collapse. The museum paid to have him restored, and he has just been unveiled to much local fanfare along with the gun that killed him (a recent donation). “At the time they were so glad that he was dead,” said Carrie, “but now everyone’s glad to see him back.”

The Becker County Museum is also home to a replica of the world’s smallest gas station (built by a local group after the original was torn down), a two-headed calf, and the former world’s largest ball of string, a 1930s effort that perhaps inspired Minnesota’s later giant ball of twine. “It’s 42 pounds and 140 miles long,” said Carrie, who needed no prompting.

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Miami To Get Massive Orange Rubber Spiky Thing, Maybe

December 6, 2008

Miami wants to develop a downtown arts district, but it has a problem: there’s an ugly sewage pumping station in the middle of it, and it’s too expensive to move. So the city announced a design contest to make the sewage station artistic. 143 proposals were submitted, most of them attempts to gussy up the sewage pumping process.

The winner took a different approach, and was a “bold and unanimous choice of a prominent jury,” according to the Miami Herald. Named “Pulse” — which also happens to be the name of the local art fair — its goal is simply to cover the station with a huge orange rubber spiky wavy thing, lit with diodes at the tips. “Like some bio-luminescent sea creature that washed ashore during a hurricane and decided to settle and join in some fun,” according to its proposal. You could just pick it up if you were a 200-ft tall giant. And then die from the poison in its stingers.

Miami’s sewer officials “aren’t promising anything,” according to the Herald, and there’s a good chance that Pulse, as wonderful as it is, will end up as flotsam in a bureaucratic sea. That would be a loss, not only for a city that needs less dour tourist attractions, but for a chance to reform the grim reputation of large blobs.

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Museum of The Weird - Closing, Or Not

December 5, 2008

The Museum of the Weird in Texas is closing and selling off most of its unique exhibits. No, not that Museum of the Weird in Texas. The other Museum of the Weird in Texas.

“I thought that they were called the Museum of Weird,” said Steve Busti, owner of the Museum of the Weird that isn’t closing.

The Museum of the Weird that is closing is in Houston, and is more of a fringe-art collection than an official museum. But that doesn’t make its stuff any less interesting, and most of it will be up for sale at bargain prices at its “Dumpster Dive” on December 13. The museum’s descent into freak oblivion is not because of its in-state competition, but because its two owners are moving to separate locations (We’ve seen before how break-ups can break up a good museum).

Up in Austin, Steve Busti’s impressive Museum of the Weird is in no danger of falling into a similar limbo. “In fact, we’re getting bigger and bigger,” he told us. “We just added a Texas Bigfoot exhibit!” — complete with footprints and a life-size gigantophitecus sculpture. The museum also has a 3,000-year-old mummy, a FeeJee Mermaid, and a well-stocked (and eerie) Cabinet of Curiosities.

Steve wishes his former fellow abnormalnauts well, and is understandably intrigued by their upcoming garage sale. “It might be worth the trip down there just to introduce myself,” he said, “and see what they’re getting rid of.”

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