Salad of the Gods.

Strawberry Point.The snack food that litters your back seat may come from the Quickie Mart, but you'll search in vain to find titanic Twinkies or behemoth Beef Jerky on the US vacation horizon. Instead, Americans honor the food groups that made us strong before we said the-hell-with-that and got satellite TV -- fruits and vegetables -- honest-to-goodness snacks from scientifically standardized factory farms, nurtured by fertilizer from the most advanced chemical industry on earth.

These mighty munchables are a link to our past, but they also offer a glimpse of a glorious future, when biotechnology will give us asparagus as tall as a CD tower and prunes as big as your couch.

Cornelia's apple.
Big Apple of Cornelia, Georgia.

Apple
Apollo, son of Zeus, god of beauty and poetry, might use these giant apples to keep away giant doctors or to bonk spoilsport William Shatner on the head.

(Big Apple # 1 - Cornelia, GA: The apple stands at the railroad depot "at the geometric center" of town. Big Apple # 2 - Winchester, VA: From 81 south, Hwy. 11 exit. Right off the square in town center.)

For some vengeful apples, see The Tree Root That Ate Roger Williams

Winchester apple.
Big Apple of Winchester, Virginia.
To artichoke.... Artichoke
Artemis, Greek goddess of the moon, would have a new neighbor if this mighty artichoke were ever orbited. [Awesome Artichoke]

Cherokee Carrot.

Carrot & Lettuce
Rabbitus, devourer of gardens, guards these salad ingredients in Cherokee, NC.

Santa's Land Theme Park:
Address: Soco Road, Cherokee, NC [Show Map]
Directions: Southeast of Cherokee, US Hwy 19.
Hours: Opens in May. (Call to verify)
Phone: 828-497-9191
Add to My Sights | Show My Sights

To corn... Corn
Khepera, Egyptian god of morning, needs skyscraper-sized prairie gold to make corn flakes for early rising immortals. [Considerable Corn]
To egg... Egg
We bet that Isis, Egyptian goddess of fertility, had something to do with these giant eggs. [Enormous Eggs]
Lemon. Lemon
The Tart Lord of Mind Control. Just thinking about this one makes us pucker and salivate. [World's Largest Lemon]
To oranges... Orange
Osiris and one of his oranges, left by the Egyptian god of the underworld in Florida, our own version of down under. [Ominous Oranges]
Peachoid. Peach
Pomona, Roman goddess of fruits, offers three fuzzy peaches [Clanton, AL, Byron, GA, and Gaffney, SC],
Bama peach.
To peanut...

Peanut
Nut, the Egyptian goddess of the heavens, has many shrines scattered across the South. But the mightiest wears her crown along the interstate in Ashburn, GA.

 
To Pecans... Pecan
Persephone is the Greek queen of infernal regions, the only places with a climate suitable for pecan growth. Except, perhaps, for Missouri or Texas.
[Pecan 1 vs. Pecan 2]
To potatoes... Potato
Phineus was a Greek who tried to slay the son of Zeus and was turned into stone by Medusa's head. As, apparently, were giant potatoes in Blackfoot and Driggs, ID.
To strawberry... Strawberry
Saturn, Roman god of harvests, likes his strawberries big. [Stupendous Strawberries]
 
To watermelon... Watermelon
Wotan, Teutonic boss god, left this half-eaten watermelon behind in Green River, UT, when he moved to pricier digs in Valhalla. [Weighty Watermelons]
 

Finally, the Jolly Green Giant of Blue Earth, MN, America's own agricultural god, protects all fruits and vegetables who drive around looking at giant fruits and vegetables.

 

November 22, 2009

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