Benton, IL.
Benton, Illinois (now in Unger, WV)

Eldorado, IL.
Eldorado, Illinois

Big John, Uber-Grocery Clerk

Big Johns are well-meaning hulks, hoisting car-sized bags filled with groceries in the parking lots of their Big John food stores. Often mistaken for Muffler Men, the Big Johns peacefully coexist with their roadside brethren.

Big Johns are 28 to 30 feet tall, usually clad in checkered shirts, blue jeans, an apron and comical bulbous black shoes. And when -- God knows why -- a Big John store goes out of business, someone repurposes the big guy.

That's what happened to the BJ in Cape Coral, Florida, which lords over a strip mall now. He's been there since 1969. Big John's grocery bags are missing, but he's otherwise up to spec. He survived a close encounter with Hurricane Charlie in 2004, and is reportedly anchored to withstand 110 mph winds..

A roving Big John has been reported in Lake View, Mississippi, pressed into seasonal service like a portable M-Man.

Big John.
Metropolis, Illinois


Cape Coral, Florida

February 9, 2010

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