Hawaii's island of Oahu has three interstates (H1, H2 and H3). They are marked with official Interstate blue and red route shields. But they are not interstate highways, except in some technical federal budget sense. And, that, in a nutshell, is why Hawaii remains a roadside territory.
Young people came to see Don Ho for decades. [RIP Don Ho - April 2007]
The highways themselves are very congested, and the land is too dear to make for elaborate roadside extravaganzas. Since no snakes are allowed in Hawaii, reptile farms are impossible to find. That said, Oahu has a few things things going for it.
At the Waikiki Beachcomber, Don Ho does the "talk story" show made famous during the swinging '60s from behind his Hammond Organ. Honeymooners and veterans are given a special "mahalo." [April 2007 - Entertainer Don Ho, 76, died. Aloha.]
Tourists can pull a riches of pearls from their own selected oysters at scores of stalls in Waikiki, though we don't know why so many of the oysters are rubber-banded shut. Lots of pearl-in-the-oyster vendors are located at the landmark International Market Place, which also features shell-jewelry, novelty t-shirts, native carvings and slushy drinks.
Kids and adults alike can hang out in the same lagoon as dolphins at the Kahala Mandarin. We love dolphin experience attractions, and this fits in with the group. But unlike some of the other ones we've been to, you do not actually get to grab the dorsal fin and swim around with them.
As close as you get to Roadside America is the Polynesian Cultural Center, which recreates stereotyped snapshots of Pacific islands like Tonga and Fiji. Natives from these islands, who are going to college in Hawaii, dress in traditional garb and show visitors how to climb palm trees and make fire. But be warned. The PCC is way the heck over on the other side of the island, in Laie (more than an hour each way).
Souvenir coconut Nativity scene.
Since every hour counts after what you've spent to get to Hawaii, you should figure this into your calculus. And, once you are there, you are trapped, especially if you took one of the buses.
There is a luau in the evening, featuring singing, dancing and purple taro rolls. But then there is another show after the luau, with many of the same performers, who seem to repeat the same stuff, only with sets. It's late, the kids are crying, and the bus doesn't leave for another half hour.
Anyway, the point we're trying to make here is that it's just not meant to be. Hawaii's fine for what it is, if you like that kind of thing. But it's not the open road. Before you leave, though, make sure someone points out the Renaissance Ilikai Waikiki hotel. This is the tall building Jack Lord stands on top of during the opening sequence of Hawaii Five-O.
