S.C. Billboards: Dino Kids, America's Original Rockstar

Cobleskill, New York

The America's Original Rockstar billboard features cameo appearances from the 2012 Secret Caverns tour guide crew. Bob Dobbs from the Church of the Subgenius is a drone flying over Secret Caverns tour guide Steve, who is held aloft in triumph as the pickle-eating champion of the Schoharie County Pickle Festival. "They were red-hot pickles, so Steve paid a solemn, solemn price for about two weeks for the hundred bucks he won," said artist Todd DelMarter. "Then he went to X Day and he never friggin' came home, man." Secret Caverns origin cow Emily Davis Moobly, mesmerized by the rockstar band, is painted as if she's removed her bikini top and exposed her udder. She sits on the shoulders of long-time Secret Caverns tour guide Carl, whose role as Emily's seat is intended as an honor. "He's done hard time in the rock," said Todd of Carl. "Eight years in the hole."

On the flip side, the Dino Kids billboard was the end result of cave owner R.J. Mallery insisting that his kids be put on a Secret Caverns sign. It also features the first appearance of Fossil Man (who we incorrectly identified as Burnt Toast Man) in the Secret Caverns billboard cosmology. Although deceptively simple by the standards of most Secret Caverns artwork, Todd told us that this sign is "loaded with hidden messages; you just need to find a record player big enough to play it backwards on."