Los Fresnos, Texas - Seven Seas Souvenir Shop

While visiting Brownsville in April, I was invited to stop at the "shell warehouse" by a friend and former Brownsville resident. I almost politely refused, having become quite jaded to surf and seashell shops in Florida and South Texas, their giant shark mouths daring the customer to enter and peruse the cheap t-shirts, towels, and coffee mugs. I am pleased to report that I did change my mind and visit the amazing behemoth that is the Seven Seas.

The first thing the visitor will notice, in between the Burma Shave style signs along the highway that scream "Christian Gifts!" is the large and colorful sculpture of undersea life. Other shops boast similar sculptures, but none beat Seven Seas for sheer size and complexity. Every form of underwater life, from corals to jellyfish to dolphins, are represented here, and the unfinished right side indicates that this sculpture is still growing.

Across the football-field-sized parking lot, the shell warehouse resembles a Wal-Mart in size, except two gigantic conch shells flank each side of the entrance.

Upon entering, each of our party was greeted, and a lei made of seashells was placed around each of our necks. Then we were left to marvel at the rows and rows of shells, and every type of souvenir made from shells.

Besides the size, the unusual selection of gift items is also notable. Where else can you find pickled shark fetuses posing next to less-scary ceramic sharks? Where else can you find gifts that are Christian AND seaworthy -- like the Lord's Prayer and various Psalms hand-painted on cowrie shells?

And where else can you while away your time watching the hermit crabs crawl around in their freshly-painted seashells? Shoppers can browse three habitats, each featuring a different size of hermit crab shell -- so when your crab outgrows his 60's psychedelic shell, he can be refitted with a larger shell painted with the Batman logo. There are bins and bins of these kitschy but beautifully painted shells -- enough to outfit every hermit crab in the Gulf of Mexico. [Julie Bloem, 07/15/2007]