Rolla, Missouri -
Memoryville USA and Antique Car Museum - Closed

OH My Gawd! We accidentally stumbled upon this dusty relic after having a burger at Steak-n-Shake. Incredible! George L. Carney went to "art school" to learn how to do portrait painting. While attending school, he met a young aspiring actress -- Donna Douglas. After they graduated, he decided to collect antique cars and Miss Douglas became America's beloved "critter cutie," Ellie May Clampett of Beverly Hillbillies fame. George decided to open a car museum in Rolla, and with the help of his old friend Donna Douglas, drummed up Route 66 business using her association as a tie-in. You can still buy Donna Douglas LP's as you exit the museum -- they are six bucks and we doubt anyone has bought one in years, as the they are quite dusty and faded (I asked the lady in the gift shop if they were available on CD and she barked at me...."What for??" ) When you enter the museum, there are lots of antique cars and old '50s glamour mannequins with no arms arranged next to them. My favorite was a Natalie Wood-style mannequin, wearing a ripped mini-skirted wedding dress with go-go boots, stepping into a 1900's Model T.

Descend the stairs into musty darkness, it's "Memoryville USA," a night time recreation of a supposed 1900's Mainstreet -- complete with "The Entertainer," playing non-stop and too loud, over and over -- as you browse the "olde town square" filled with malt shops and shoe stores. And there's a 1900's storefront that proudly displays a real super dusty collection of Donna Douglas -Ellie May Clampett collectibles (there was actually a spider crawling on Elly May's boob in the display).

You travel on down several dimly lit levels -- past the silent film theater, the antique televisions, the Hitler collection, the blacksmith shop, until at the very end....there is an antique car restoration garage, where the paint fumes will almost kill you." Exit to the gift shop. We haven't seen a good "compulsive collector" attraction like it in a long time. [Michael Beatty, 08/14/2004]

[RA: We've ignored the signs for Memoryville USA for years when passing through Rolla, steering instead to the town's Stubby Stonehenge. What were we thinking?]