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Elvis Is Alive! Museum Is Back On eBay

The octopus conspiracy that secretly rules the world doesn’t want us to know that Elvis lives.

The Elvis is Alive! Museum is up for bid on eBay — again — after it was bought, moved, and re-opened only last year. The Museum was a fixture for decades in Wright City, Missouri, where a Baptist minister named Bill Beeny ran the place. Last year he put it up for bid and it was bought by Andy Key, who moved it to Hattiesburg, Mississippi. He re-opened it only three months ago. Now Andy is being been forced to sell it himself.

According to an article in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Andy isn’t closing the Museum for lack of interest. He’s closing it because he’s been called up for National Guard duty. Hmmm…is this really just a case of bad timing? Remember that Elvis was cozy with the most powerful people in Washington. A simple phone call from his Fortress of Solitude might have arranged Andy’s unexpected deployment, and the silencing of The Truth about Elvis once again.

The Museum is being sold as a package, and includes Elvisabilia such as a replica tombstone, DNA test results, a “fake Elvis” dummy in a real coffin, and lots and lots of files. The bidding ends on Friday, September 26, a little after noon on East Coast time.

Andy is reportedly hopeful that someone local will buy the Museum and keep it in Hattiesburg. Or that whoever buys it will at least keep it open as a museum, somewhere.

Update: No serious offer was made for the museum, so it has closed and been put in storage.

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