« Keep Your Hands Off Our Stones | Main | Corpse Flower May Stink Up Museum For Halloween »

Presidential Insights From Nick Pahys Jr.

October 29, 2008

A tipster recently wrote to us that The One And Only Presidential Museum, Williamsfield, Ohio — owned and operated by Nick Pahys, Jr. — had closed.

Tragic news! And, as it turns out, incorrect news! The museum is open and being visited by “many, many people” according to Nick, who continues to enlighten all comers to the shocking truth that George Washington was in fact only the eighth President of the United States.

While we had Nick on the phone, we asked him about Obama vs. McCain. Nick judged that this has been the “most unusual election I’ve seen in my entire life” and hinted, we think (Nick can be cagey when he wants to be), that Obama was being secretly bankrolled by Chicago’s political machine and that his favorable media coverage was due to his lavish spending on political ads. Nick added that his museum’s nonprofit status prevented him from endorsing either candidate.

“Don’t you think it’s ridiculous that a man in my position has never been invited to the White House?” he asked us, and we certainly agree. How about if Nick invited Obama or McCain to visit his museum? Nick scoffed at such an idea. “If they come to my museum and I present all the facts — I don’t have opinions, I deal in facts — then they would have to comment on them.” In other words, no President will ever visit Nick’s museum because they would then have to admit that they are eight Presidents further down the list than we believed them to be.

Nick reassured us that despite his sometimes sketchy health, his museum will remain open. The facts he presents are simply too important to keep from the public. “You’re talking to a man who’s 75, who’s had five heart attacks, two strokes, cancer twice, my back is shot, my knees are shot, and I work 12 hours a day,” he told us.

“For what? Not for myself. For future generations. Somebody’s got to do it. Just like Mahatma Gandhi.”

Sections: Attraction News Comments Off on Presidential Insights From Nick Pahys Jr.

Discussion is closed.