Alien Fresh Jerky Trump

Baker, California

If there was ever a real life invasion by extraterrestrials, we'd want it to be as cheery as the scenarios spun out at Alien Fresh Jerky. The improbable dried meat shop concept has thrived in the Death Valley desert gas stop town of Baker, between Barstow and Las Vegas. We always find an excuse to exit the freeway and see what's new (or the same) along the commercial strip. The emanations from space beings and jalapeno infused beef strips are hard to resist.

Alien Fresh Jerky usually has something new -- whether it's progress outside on the promised space motel, or new souvenirs and distractions in the store. The place was crowded already on a recent weekday morning, but a familiar voice cutting through the din was unmistakable:

"We're gonna take this country back."

And then:

"I'm Donald Trump, I'm still your president."

In a glass cabinet. a bug-eyed alien version of our 45th President calls out variations of his signature lines. His tiny, pinched mouth is sculpted spot-on, accessorized with MAGA cap, flag pin, suit and red tie. His hands are cast in dainty detail. This otherworldly Trump issues signature promises, threats, and assurances -- comfort for some, PTSD triggers for the rest.

Fortune Tellers.

Stick in a dollar and Alien Trump will gaze into his glowing orb and dispense a Fortune Teller Card from "Out of This World."

Alien Trump is all for laughs, with none of the strained pomp you might get from a more serious President from Another Planet. And he dwells among his people, as it were. When we visited last, Alien Trump's display cabinet was squeezed between a green-skinned, prognosticator in a turban, and a sales rack of bug-eyed plush toys.

An "all-seeing" non-alien Trump first appeared as a mysterious art installation back in 2016, chiefly spotted around New York City. We couldn't tell if this newer, bulb-headed E.T. Trump was a one-of-kind, only at-Alien-Fresh-Jerky fortune teller, or a mass produced gimmick destined to surface in tourist stops from coast to coast. If you're in Baker anyway for the bathroom or jerky, take a moment to consider your real feelings about aliens, and listen to this space monster.