St. Louis, Missouri: Wax Museum of St. Louis

Presidents, biblical figures, celebrities, and a two-basement Chamber of Horrors. Misunderstood by those who want every wax museum to be like Madame Tussauds. We loved it.

This place has, in my humble opinion, all of the essentials that make for a great roadside attraction, right down to the slightly insane caretaker. They have a large collection of wax figures (over 150) with nice little dioramas to go with them, including presidents, royalty, Biblical figures, celebrities, a Chamber of Horrors, and a figure of the caretaker himself in his youth, outfitted in full disco garb. The walls are also covered with lots of great memorabilia, such as old LP covers and newspaper clippings.

The caretaker loves to talk about his wax figures. "These are my children," he says. "I sleep in here at night and sometimes I hear voices." Pointing out the Michael Jackson figure, he says, "I tell my nephew, if he doesn't behave, I'll stick him in with Michael Jackson here." While we wandered through the Chamber of Horrors, he gleefully scratched on the walls and cackled ominously. "HAHAHAHA! THIS IS A RECORDING!" he shouts.

He was eager to chat and told us lots of other hilarious anecdotes. I'll leave you to discover these yourself when you visit!

While in St. Louis, MO, this weekend, I visited the wax museum at Laclede's Landing, very near the arch. Very low rent, but also very entertaining, I decided to take down notes when I came upon the diorama of Neil Armstrong on the moon. He is in full astronaut gear, except for his helmet. I guess he's so famous that he doesn't need to worry about imploding due to lack of atmosphere/oxygen. Most of the depicted celebrities look like they're supposed to, but are just a bit off. For example, Michael Jackson has quite a mustache going and Elvis looks very scrawny in his white besequined jumpsuit. Other celebrity figures include: a wistful Flip Wilson in both male and female incarnations; Steve McQueen, whose additional hand-lettered sign inexplicably notes him only as one who raced motorcycles for a hobby; and Salvador Dali shares a case with Howard Hughes (long fingernails and all).

One floor is dedicated to Jesus' life, from nativity to crucifixion (which appears to be in Mexico, since there are Saguaro cactus painted on the wall and one of the thieves has that classic bandito look, complete with beard and Mexican blanket slung over his shoulder). Incidentally, Jesus looks like a buff body builder at the crucifixion.

Many of the figures are missing fingers -- my favorite being Queen Elizabeth, whose finger lays at the toe of her dainty slipper. Don't miss the Chamber of Horrors in the basement, complete with red paint-splattered walls, a Valley of the Dolls drug OD diorama and ends with Hitler (!?) and then Satan. Fun for the the whole family!