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Roadside News: Jan. 5, 2009

January 5, 2009

• Synthetic Interviews Are Here!: Would you like to talk with Abe Lincoln at a tourist attraction this year? “Although the country’s 16th president has been dead for 143 years, Synthetic Interview technology makes it possible.” We’d much rather talk with the late Max Nordeen, although the amount of processing power needed to contain everything that was in Max’s head would cause a system meltdown.

• Shoe Freeway: Thousands of assorted shoes have mysteriously appeared in a Miami freeway. Was it caused by the spooky forces of forteana, or a truck that nobody saw, or have we witnessed the birth of a flash mob variant of the shoe tree?

• Dead Country Singer Statue: Grass-roots fundraising is underway to build a “staggeringly large” 17-foot-tall sculpture of dead country singer Chris LeDoux, riding a bucking bronco atop a big guitar, in his home town of Kaycee, Wyoming.

• Puny Humans, Give Us All of Earth’s Bronze: Fake bronze plaques made of fake stone are now being used to thwart metal thieves. Ever since Daniel Boone and his lucky nose was stolen, we’ve been wondering — will this mark the beginning of the end for statue rubbing? Or will that activity now be confined to indoor statues?

• Life Span Ends for Highway Spanner: The designer of the interstate-spanning Great Platte River Road Archway Monument, “one of the bright lights in our architectural community,” has exited life’s interstate.

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