« Surprise! Dillinger Museum Reopens | Main | Everyone Gets a Hall of Fame »

Roadside Creatures: Monster Pig Story

March 31, 2008

College road trip through the rural south. Our gas gauge below empty, we rolled into a no-service service station, miles from the interstate. The garage bays were open. The office door creaked in the hot breeze. No attendant. Everyone was gone…where? Suddenly, as if in answer, an inhuman grunting echoed off of the pumps. Around the corner lumbered a horse-sized PIG at full cantor. Two tons of porcine rage, heading straight for us.

“Giant PIG!” someone screamed. We’d talked only the day before of a news report of pigs eating a private plane. About how pigs will eat anything. And now this Hog from Hell was coming straight for us. “PIG! Giant PIG!!” The driver floored it. Through a cloud of dust, we could see the apoplectic porker gradually losing ground, slowing, and circling back toward the station office. Perhaps to finish snacking on the attendant.

True story. And it happened years before the celebrated killing of Hogzilla by a hunter in that very same region (2004). It was a Monster Pig, and it became our Monster Pig Story.

Every Roadside traveler needs a Monster Pig Story. A brush with denizens from Out There that can only be had by those who drive around Out There for a bit. A date with the mysterious juju whose very existence our scientists don’t dare to acknowledge.

We realized quite a few of these beasties were already reported on RoadsideAmerica.com, just not organized. So we’ve created a Roadside Creatures Guide. It’s (mostly) American monsters and elusive creatures that have left behind something worth visiting — a tourist attraction, museum, statue, or historical marker.

When you visit a monster site, make sure your gas tank is full and your your car is angled for a quick getaway. And even if you don’t stop, you can scare the hell out of the kids as you drive by with a Roadside Creature tale or two.

Sections: Features, Rants Comments Off

Discussion is closed.

Trunkation Nation