New Bern, North Carolina: Tom Haywood's Self-Kicking Machine

Dissatisfied travelers can pull off the road and self-administer a good boot in the butt.

Visitor Tips and News About Tom Haywood's Self-Kicking Machine

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Self-kicking machine.

Self-Kicking Machine

The infamous Self Kicking Machine sits outside of a nice antique/gift shop called Martha's Favorite Things in the unincorporated town of Croatan, NC. This particular stretch of road is fairly empty, so you shouldn't have any problems finding the place.

The self kicking machine was, sadly, in a state of minor disrepair when I located it; the crank needed to be tightened and the boot assembly had become disconnected from the wooden frame. After a short wrench turning session I had the Self Kicking Machine returned to it's former working condition. The machine is a lot of fun (and painful)!

[Greg Brown, 02/18/2001]

Future visitors and other masochists thank Greg for his repair efforts...

Self Kicking Machine

I recall when traveling with my family many years ago encountering a "kicking machine" at a convenience store or service station located-I think- on Highway 70 near New Bern or Havelock NC. This device consisted-to the best of my recollection- of a wheel with protruding spokes or bars with an old brogan or boot attached to the end of each spoke. A person who needed to kick him/herself would arrange their body in the machine with their rump in prominent position and would proceed to turn a crank, resulting in a continous delivery of kicks to the posterior. The "victim" could control the intensity of the kicks depending upon the gravity of offense for which they sought personal atonement. Anyone with additional information?

[David Holley, 10/28/2000]

There's another, newer (1988) Ass Kicking Machine in Wirtz, VA, though the creator, Bob Booth, admits it was inspired by one he saw somewhere in North Carolina....

Tom Haywood's Self-Kicking Machine

Martha's Favorite Things

6241 US Hwy. 70 E, New Bern, NC
Martha's Favorite Things. On US 70, a little over nine miles south of the intersection of Hwy 55/US 17 at New Bern. Look for a broad curve in the highway, where there's an unobtrusive building that looks like an old country store. That's Martha's Favorite Things antiques shop, and the kicking machine is next to it. Just past it is a small white country church at the corner of Catfish Lake Rd; turn right to get on the service road to backtrack to the kicking machine.
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Nearby Offbeat Places

Largest Plunger and ToiletLargest Plunger and Toilet, New Bern, NC - 3 mi.
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Birthplace of PepsiBirthplace of Pepsi, New Bern, NC - 10 mi.
In the region:
Big Statue of Blackbeard, Beaufort, NC - 27 mi.

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