somewhere in Kansas, Kansas: Transdimensional Divining Dude

In the southeastern corner of Kansas on hwy 166 we kept passing these "antiques" shacks with all kinds of junk piled up in their front yards. We stopped at one east of Baxter Springs (probably before 26) and it happens to be this great store that is run by this funny, old southern guy named "Fox" who's been in business for 32 years. There were stacks of odd and neat stuff, you know, like bottles, lamps, shit of every kind you would find in a junktique store.

It was hot and getting late so we made a few purchases and were ready to hit the road. Fox says, "But you haven't even seen the best part!" He leads us through a door to this long hallway where one wall is covered with cheesy, dirty, Goodwill-style fake paintings, the other covered with maps with colored push pins stuck all over them. He lights up the room with these amazing '70s multi-colored lucite chunk globes that hang from the ceiling from gold link chains.

Fox picks up this stick as long as a wooden spoon handle, with a slim, Y-shaped branch, and says, "Here it is!" I think he called it a "Pauntz." He says, "I can locate anything, ANYTHING with this! I can, are you ready for this? I can transport my body anywhere in the world with this thing!"

Fox holds the Y branches out with both hands. He goes, "Now, watch. Say I want to go to Las Vegas Nevada..." He makes a quarter turn and the stick rotates towards the ground. "There! I just went to Las Vegas! Say I want to go to China!" He makes another quarter turn and the stick rotates down. "There! I just transported myself to China!" Then he looks at my friend Matt and says, "Watch this!" Fox points the Pauntz at Matt and then to the ground. "I just transported myself to Las Vegas and back right through your body!!"

Fox told us he could "Fly like an eagle all over the world." In fact his grandchildren call him Chief Eagle Fox. He followed us out to the van talking all kinds of other mumbo-jumbo (telling us how he was a professional male dancer in Las Vegas once!). We finally waved goodbye and drove off. It was very easily the most amazing thing I've ever witnessed on tour. [soya, 03/23/1997]