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End Times Jesus Draws Battle Line Along Interstate

Appearances of invincibility, even in a roadside statue of an all-powerful being, can be deceiving. The world was shocked earlier this year when a perfectly healthy “Touchdown Jesus” was struck by lightning and incinerated in Monroe, Ohio. A second coming of TD-J may be in the cards, but in the meantime another savior statue has risen, along I-35 north of Owatonna, Minnesota.

The Coming KingMinnesota’s “The Coming King” isn’t as large as Ohio’s “King of Kings” (which was Touchdown Jesus’s official name), but what it lacks in scale it makes up for in testosterone. It depicts a battle-ready warrior Jesus, with bulging muscles and a sword raised for slashing. He sits bareback on a rearing white stallion, balanced on a boiling gray cloud, crimson cape flapping in the breeze, with a ram’s horn to sound the attack and a royal crown atop his disproportionately large head. It’s supposedly based on a couple of Bible verses (Revelation 19:11-12).

Jesus has come back from heaven — to raise hell.

The statue stands 18 feet tall outside of a megachurch that was formerly an aviation museum. In fact, Jesus’s current spot was previously occupied by a sculpture of three backflipping fighter jets.

The Coming King was created by Max Greiner Jr., the same artist responsible for the towering “Empty Cross” erected earlier this year — next to yet another freeway — in Texas. He writes, on his web site, that while sculpting the statue his own body, clothes, and bathroom became covered with “Glory Dust,” a miraculous substance that he notes is also mentioned in the Bible.

Snarky locals have already christened the new Christ “Hi-Ho Jesus” and “Burger King Jesus.”

Sections: Attraction News, Statues Comments Off on End Times Jesus Draws Battle Line Along Interstate Team Field Report

Warrior King Jesus on a White Stallion

Christian Family Church

North of Owatonna. Along the southbound Frontage Rd between I-35 exits 43 and 45. Just south of Cabela's, on the south side of the Christian Family Church megachurch.
Reported gone April 2023.

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