We'd been feeling a little guilty all these years. The Metropolis Chamber of Commerce stopped their practice of distributing little Kryptonite packets to visitors in the late 1990s, some time after we jokingly compared it to handing out bullets in Dealey Plaza. Maybe it was just a coincidence, but the last thing we wanted to do was sprinkle PR kryptonite on a fun civic concept.
So we found ourselves back in Metropolis, wondering why the Americana Hollywood Museum wasn't open, even though its front yard was filled with odd statues and we could hear parrots squawking on the other side of a window. And then, on the sidewalk corner of the property, we spotted a large, flat, Hulk-green boulder.
A nearby plaque explained: "Kryptonite: This glowing green meteorite is the largest specimen of its kind known to exist. It fell to earth shortly after the planet Krypton exploded into a million, billion fragments." Signed by a "C. Kent," the sign claimed that the Kryptonite had landed on a nearby farm, and that visitors who touch it will benefit from friendship and good luck. It also assured us that "Scientists rendered it powerless and totally harmless to even 'Superman'."
Sure they did. We're not falling for another archvillain ruse.