Portland, Oregon: 24 Hour Church of Elvis (Closed)

I got married at the Church of Elvis! It may not have been legal (although you supposedly can get married for real if you'd like), but it was quite amusing. Listen to the maniacal rantings of Stephanie as she gives you a "tour" of her junk-filled room. That jukebox with the spinning doll heads was creepy! Just make sure you don't walk in late or she'll berate you!

Don't Forget: You can get married at the Church of Elvis, too! Couples of any age or gender mix can get married (not legally) for a buck or two, as I recall. Plain heterosexual couples of the age of consent can get legally married for $25 or so. (It's not that the proprietor is against same-sex couples, it's the damn government!)

We visited the Church of Elvis on a Saturday afternoon. It's located at 720 SW Alkeny Street in downtown Portland. The signage is obscure and parking might be a bit of a challenge. Get by those two issues and you'll find yourself walking up some creaky stairs into a peculiar looking old building. Be forewarned -- upon entering the "church" you will immediately be confronted by the odd looking spokesmodel/hostess (real name - Stephanie). Part of her schtick is to engage the crowd, and she does it with a vengeance.

During our visit, we saw a German tourist literally get frightened off by her approach. Why? The Church is fairly small, overhead has been kept to a minimum, and Stephanie works alone. Therefore, new arrivals to the church often unintentionally interrupt an existing tour, only to be immediately chastised by her -- much to the delight of the existing tour group.

As for the "church" itself, it is actually a collection of odds and ends, worthless junk and general kitsch from 1970s popular culture. The heavy emphasis is on (surprise!) Elvis, but you'll see other icons such as "The Bionic Woman." Stephanie basically walks you around the place, highlights her obscure collection and presents a humorous interactive spiel. The highlight of the church tour is the opportunity to bow before the King (Elvis...not the big guy upstairs) at her makeshift altar. The tour takes about 15 minutes and is free. However, there is an entertaining plea to buy some of her "Church of Elvis" souvenirs at the end, which range from low-end fridge magnets ($1 I believe) to fairly good quality t-shirts (high end was around $20). We bought a shirt to memorialize the experience.

I walked up spongy stairs in a condemned building. I read a sign: "24-Hour Church of Elvis, ring bell and wait, it takes a long time to get here." The door was locked to protect the artifacts from the wrath of non-believers. I rang the bell. I waited a long time. The door opened. There was a shrine. It, like the Holy Grail, can only be looked upon by true believers.There may have been animal sacrifices. It is comforting to know that one can worship here at any time and still get a bite to eat at Denny's. I bought a T-shirt and left. I have not yet and never will wear it.