Salad of the Gods

Salad of the Gods

The snack food that litters your back seat may come from the Quickie Mart, but you'll search in vain to find titanic Twinkies or behemoth Beef Jerky on the US vacation horizon. Instead, Americans honor the food groups that made us strong before we said the-hell-with-that and got satellite TV -- fruits and vegetables -- honest-to-goodness snacks from scientifically standardized factory farms, nurtured by fertilizer from the most advanced chemical industry on earth.

These mighty munchables are a link to our past, but they also offer a glimpse of a glorious future, when biotechnology will give us asparagus as tall as a CD tower and prunes as big as your couch.

Cornelia's apple.Winchester apple.


Apollo, son of Zeus, god of beauty and poetry, might use these giant apples to keep away giant doctors or to bonk spoilsport William Shatner on the head.

(Big Apple # 1 - Cornelia, GA: The apple stands at the railroad depot "at the geometric center" of town. Big Apple # 2 - Winchester, VA: From 81 south, Hwy. 11 exit. Right off the square in town center.)

For some vengeful apples, see The Tree Root That Ate Roger Williams



Artemis, Greek goddess of the moon, would have a new neighbor if this mighty artichoke were ever orbited. [Awesome Artichoke]

Cherokee Carrot.

Carrot & Lettuce

Rabbitus, devourer of gardens, guards these salad ingredients in Cherokee, NC. More



Khepera, Egyptian god of morning, needs skyscraper-sized prairie gold to make corn flakes for early rising immortals. [Considerable Corn]

Egg Battle


We bet that Isis, Egyptian goddess of fertility, had something to do with these giant eggs. [Enormous Eggs]



The Tart Lord of Mind Control. Just thinking about this one makes us pucker and salivate. [World's Largest Lemon]

Lindsay Olive.


Odin, Norse creator god, drops an olive like this into a 50-foot-tall martini glass after a hard day of universe management. ( World's Largest Olive: Lindsay, CA: In front of the Olive Tree Inn.)



Osiris and one of his oranges, left by the Egyptian god of the underworld in Florida, our own version of down under. [Ominous Oranges]

Peachoid.Bama peach.


Pomona, Roman goddess of fruits, offers three fuzzy peaches [Clanton, AL, Byron, GA, and Gaffney, SC]


Nut, the Egyptian goddess of the heavens, has many shrines scattered across the South. But the mightiest wears her crown along the interstate in Ashburn, GA.



Persephone is the Greek queen of infernal regions, the only places with a climate suitable for pecan growth. Except, perhaps, for Missouri or Texas. [Pecan 1 vs. Pecan 2]



Phineus was a Greek who tried to slay the son of Zeus and was turned into stone by Medusa's head. As, apparently, were giant potatoes in Blackfoot and Driggs, ID.



Saturn, Roman god of harvests, likes his strawberries big. [Stupendous Strawberries]



Wotan, Teutonic boss god, left this half-eaten watermelon behind in Green River, UT, when he moved to pricier digs in Valhalla. [Weighty Watermelons]

Finally, the Jolly Green Giant of Blue Earth, MN, America's own agricultural god, protects all fruits and vegetables who drive around looking at giant fruits and vegetables.

Salad of the Gods

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September 22, 2020

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